You can masturbate in the morning, after your coffe, before lunch...

I finally did it, I went to the Lasik surgeon and last Saturday my eyes were getting burned by laser like a turkey in the oven during Thanksgiving. The pain after the surgery made me question myself if I ever going to be able to stand childbirth, anyways I thought I was going blind. But I can see now! Although I have to wear shades when I read, watch tv, sms-ing, even when I shit. It´s ok, I feel like a moviestar, cause thats what I imagine them doing...shitting with a pair of Raybans on.

Seriously, I havn´t done much since coming back from the Seoul-Shanghai trip. Now with the whole eye surgery I can't work for a month, which is ok cause lately I realized that models are like prostitutes anyways, just skinnier and with a employment pass. Hey, we(models) are not even better paid in some cases. But my portfolio keeps starring at me and its like -"bitch, move your ass to the castings". I couldn't stand this mocking everyday so I decided to ease my pain by going to Stockholm for two weeks at the end of this month. Yeeeees, home sweet home. Finally!

I must be the best girlfriend out there, I told AJ today that I don't mind if he masturbates whenever he wants. Ofcourse it would be more fun if he would do it infront of me but I think he is a shy-masturbator. He thinks that I am a freak because I like gayporn. So I thought we should make a agreement; he can jerk it off whenever and whereever and I get to keep my schnaggle videos. Don't take my wrong, two guys getting it on doesnt turn me on but when was the last time you saw a goodlooking male pornstar? Whenever Redtube starts to put up videos with Josh Hartnett lookalike and Hayden Christensen pussslammers I will end my lovely relationship with the CockonCock people.

H is for "High-vaisted Jeans"

I need the new issue of Marie Clarie, with Bruno contributing some intelligent thoughts into the fashion world.

"A is for Austria, ze most amazing place in Europe. Ve're all proud of our country und are raised to try and achieve ze Austrian dream - find a job, get a dungeon und raise a family in it."

Or

S is for "September 11th 2001": "Famous, of course, for being ze day on vich Oscar de la Renta reintroduced ze chambray peasant blouse."

And

Madonna, Naomi Campbell and Vogue editor Anna Wintour were all comedy targets.
A "little black child" is "zis seasons's vardrobe essential", Bruno wrote in reference to Madonna's attempt to adopt a second Malawian baby, while Wintour is likened to a "pre-op trannie". Of Campbell, he said: "She's amazing - twenty years in ze business und all ze pressure und fame hasn't changed her a bit - she's remained a total bitch."

Picture this

There is a great documentary out there made by a topmodel Sarah Ziff and her ex-bf. Unfortunatelt I must admit that the stuff the say in this movie is true. Well, brave of her to step out and tell the story. But this kind of makes me want to deny the whole industry, and lately I think I have been.

Picture Me Trailer

Should would could....the story of my life

Should be in the gym, would have been in the supermarket already, could stop fooling around. But nah, I never do what I should, would or could.

Lazy lazy lazy

Off duty

I learned a new word in Shanghai, MOD. Me MOD? Noooooo. Apparently I am, and MOD=Model Off Duty. Thanks Karen for letting me know.

La Perla show yesterday at the Brazilian Embassy was somewhat of a weird experience. I got all pysched about going there cause Brazil means one thing to me, actually two(dance is the second one) but lets talk about the most important attibute - beautiful women. The models were not brazilian and most of them looked like they had a accident at the hairdressers with the bleach. Listen girl, if u look like a burkawearing muslim dun go blonde unless you want to be taken as a prostitute from Istanbul. Let's talk about the guests, Brazilians or not they were all fat and daked out housewifes that probably get more excited about the new Birkin bag than getting fucked by their rich husbands. See Karen, now you now why your friend owns 5 Birkins, cause she never see the cock. The champagne finished before the show( big nono, even in the diplomacy world) and there were not enough goody-bags for all the guests. I give it an A for effort and a F for the result.

Love Peace and Cheese rolls

Just dance...or maybe laugh

I am back in town (Singapore) and stayed in bed the whole Monday, well besides when Carol was changing the bedsheets. Tuesday was pure pain, pain in my head, pain in my stomach, pain in my conscious. Not that I have done something inappropriate but because the reality is creeping up on me like a ridiculous Incan pipecleaner lady in mom jeans from Winnipeg. Boo-fucking-hoo you think, Yuling is back in Singapore and the suffering starts here. I was at my embassy this morning to get my new passport, I really didn't want to leave the house but because of my Indonesia trip this weekend I forced myself up very early(10.30am) and stepped into the shower with the hair still smelling like yesterday nights binge. On my old passport picture I look like a Persian transvestite, on the one I picked up today I look like a FAT Persian transvestite - with good skin thou. Goosh I love b/w pictures.

AJ came with me because being away from me for 10 days have the amazing effect of "I'm sticking with you. 'Cos I'm made out of glue. Anything that you might do. I'm gonna do too". He is a cool companion, even if he looks like he needs benzo more than me. I guess his outburst makes me keeping it cool. I told him this morning in the cab that sometimes you just have to laugh, it's like North Korean state-sanctioned Karaoke...all the songs are crap so just keep on singing and dancing.

Back in Singapore

I will devote monday and tuesday to rest up from my trip.

My dick is still VIP and your dick needs ID

Xoxo