if i ever get a girl i shall name her juliet

thank you for the message asshole

jules is arriving today so I'm stocking up on my hormonal impulses these past weeks. i can't help but being touched by someone growing up listening to Sonny n Cher. Mr Big wants to sleep over and I only know how to say when and where. I take him to a private dinning place cause privacy is underrated in this sin city. We smoke more than we eat, he drinks more than I smoke, I tell him about that I wanna kill myself 20times everyday and he tells me every second day is more common. This city has a poisonous vein that is running through my body, i feel toxic in a good way.

He wakes me up in the mid of the night with a hard surprise and I receive it happily although sleepy. Breakfast doesn't seem to be the most important meal of the day. I don't like to say good morning so I pretend to be asleep until I hear my door closes downstairs. Last time he didn't lock and I never felt safer in this city. Mister doesn't say much when I tell him about potential future husbands, he only looks at me with a look that tells me to go fuck myself or he will. Self-control, whats that?

my heritage itch

i don't care

i hear it. the sound of ending. no more kicking the old dirt. in with the new fresh soil. i can do it. just need to do it. stop bargaining banana. no more reminiscing, no more dreaming about smelling pillowcase a la 2010, the city will never change, i have to.