sunday

it feels like a sunday

Last night was perfect, it could have been different but I wouldn't want to change anything anyways. Started the evening with Carin at the Opera, we gave each other seductive looks while mid-aged men in suit gave us dirty thoughts. After that I met up with Mikael, we crashed a party in his building, stole some ciggarettes from a blonde girl that was born in the 90s. Our codeword for leaving the party in case it was dead was the word "Tango", ofcourse had to misuse it when he was telling the guy that had the party how annoying it is when he and his gf is dancing tango in their flat and he is sleeping. I was like " are you sure you don't mean FLAMINGO". Stupid word. Who the fucks dance tango anyways. His neighbour wanted to come back with us, ööööhhhh, and we let him ofcourse but than he want to buy drugs from us...it was just perfect. We watched Battle Royale and I felt asleep during the last 20min. We kept on doing stuff until 2pm today, but seriously I dont rmba what we have accomplished. I think we were supp. to clean some mushrooms he picked with his mum but that never happened ofcourse. Oh yeah, we drank green tea and had a rap competition between us.

I forgot to call Alex today so I sent him a text saying; "You pork lover, you fuck pig pussy you pigfucker. I am vegeterian so vai leavr nesse rabo seu paneleiro. Laters asshole". The portuguese means GO fuck yourself or something. I m such a loving girlfriend.

Its Saturday eve. and all I feel like is crashing Senaits party, I wonder if I can go there just like I m now...with makeup from last night and no brah. It´s pretty weather today.

"because we love MOVIES!!!"

I went to see Tarantinos new movie Inglorious Basterds, I always liked his stuff but this one blowed me away totally. I saw some behind the scenes clip from makinf of this movie and apparently before every re-take Tarantino made everyone on the set scream: "because we love movies". He is a bad mother fucker. Go and see the BAsterds now.

Its raining now and the weather sucks, not that its been good the other days but now it actually looks like singapore during monsoon but got the temperature of probably murmansk. Last night I dreamt about that singer in Aha, I think we made out and than he set my dress on fire, or more exactly me on fire. I always thought he was gay and not a pyromaniac.

no mercy

i talked with the old owner of my flat and he told me he "forgot" the ceilinglamp in the hall and would like to come and pick it up. what a motherfucker, if the fucking thing is attached to the wall and someone else moves in and actually start a whole new life with that lamp you can forgot about it and move on. well, I felt I had to be nice to him because they must be poor(how that is possible is a mystery to considering how much I paid for this pad) so I was like, ...."mmm, sure come and get it someday"...

I wonder if he want the wallpapers back as well. motherfucker motherfucker motherfucker

30 is the new 60. celcius

i m chatting with Carin on skype and she is telling me that her lamp is being haunted or her neighbour got the same lamp with the same remote control, so I tell her to go over and knock on his door and the worst thing that can happen is that they fuck on his kitchen floor and the lamp story is never solved. Two russian speaking guys came to my flat today to clean and it turned out one of them could speak chinese because his parents are from Ürümqi, he told me as a Uyghur he would like to move back to China one day because he doesnt like Sweden. Btw, he got a university degree in Business and the only job he can get in sweden is being a cleaner, so typical Sweden I told him. He looked happy thou when he left, he even forgot the window cleanse spray.

my mum still thinks that I should go the hospital and ask for some kind of emergency swineflu remedy, i dun even know if I have swineflu and if I do I am sure the motherfucker communist healthcare system here is not going to do a damn thing. unless u r dying they might inject some super medicine into you othawise u r just a sucker that pays alot of tax and dun get anything for it. and this applies to private healthcare as well, thats how socialism works. Ask Milton Friedman.

cocillana

my doctor gave me cociallana for my virusinfection(did a H1N1 test today, get the result in 2 days), and it's wonderful=etylmorfinhydroklorid. the guy that did the swineflu test on me was a 40 something persian bioanalyst, he shoved down a long skinny metal thing in my nose and I told him I rather take a needle in my eyeball, it was the most uncomfortable thing plus he parked his balls between my knees while plumbing my nose for virus. Alot of people think that I m going to die if I got swineflu, but my doctor said that if I got it I m on my way to be better anyways but "it would be fun" to know if it is swineflu. I wonder if I get a medal for surviving it. Earlier today between my gynecologist appointment and the swineflu checkup I went to Twilfit(underwear store) to buy a new brah, apparently I have been using the wrong size my whole life, apparently I am a 70D, CAN U FUCKING BELIEVE IT?! Me, D and 70? The brah-lady told me that it's because my back is really skinny, I felt like buying all the D-cupe in the store. But seriously I don't have jugs but maybe swineflu makes ur boobs grow and ur bones shrink, hey it's like the best diet ever.

Bonnie is buying up the whole city while I am taking the rest of the day off(1st one since I got here) and staying in, I should be taking a nap but instead I am doing budgets, paying bills, taking more morfin, organizing my clothes, doing a to-do list, sticking post-it notes on random stuff and ofcourse more morfin. I never felt better.

I also took some random pictures:

1. name your own price coupons for kanelbullar
2. my dinningtable
3. old pic i found while moving: from left..my possy in HK, Johan as a kid(how can you not love plaid and young blond boys), mum being 30 something...she looks the same today...scarry.

swedish summer

fever


we had to wake up at 8am cause after 9am we are not aloud to flush the toilet because the pipes are being cleaned or something, at 8.45am I was sitting on the loo doing my business and squeezing as much and as hard as I can without breaking my ass. Went to sign some paper at the bank for my flat and now I officially own it. Yeah. It´s 20 celcius outside and I look like I m ready to chop some wood, very brokeback minus the anal penetration. Seriously this is mid-aug and it can only mean one thing, summer sale! Fuck no, no sale and it´s bloody cold. Bonnie got alot of cheap monday and I bought a brah that doesnt cover the nipples, the brah is so great I think I will have to propose to AJ if he ever see me in it. I also found a pair of cowboy boots, I love them and I think they will love me back. Bonnie is taking a shit while watching porn and we are seriously considering to get a tv because we got like nothing to do and we really wanna sit in my new sofa that btw. Saras bf thinks its the ugliest thing ever.

its better to drink boiled coca cola together than eat panadol alone

Sorry for not posting in a million years, I have been busy studying for my bar exam and feeding white orphans in 3rd world countries. And Michael Jackson is not dead.

I am in Stockholm for 2 weeks and Bonnie is here as well, all the way from HK. I gave her swine flu and she cleans my wooden floor just like a filippino maide, with style. We like to grocery shop, 48h and we been to 5 different supermarket. It's the best thing ever to have her here teaching me how to cure a flu; coke, ginger and lemon. Boil it all together! It's funny how bad my english becomes when my nose is stuffed, my sentences are short. haha ha

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