Happy Easter Bitches and Bunnies

No dirty thoughts you perv

I ran into one of my old booker yesterday and the hag was trying to lure me in again by going on and on about how skinny I have become. Excuse me mam but I am emotionally inbalanced and the cells in my body is constantly being over worked cause I go to bed at 5am and wakes up 3h later. No thank you, I don't wanna have a body of Erin Wasson, I rather look like a healthy plummed teenage cheerleader with braces. One of the thing that makes me grow is physical activity, if I weren't so lazy I do put on a few pounds already. That's right suckers, I only gain kilos when I drink enoumous amount of alcohol or by working out. Pref. not a the same time. It's mommy and daddys skinny genes. Anyways I gave her a fuck-me-or-fight-me-look and said "thanks, but no thanks".


I have updated my sidebars, so listen to the new song and have a look at the new obsessions, not sure if you guys get it.

Its the Seoul Fashion Week did u know that mothersucker?

We have all sinned - a personal invitation to God.

I got this in my maibox today. It's a booklet from the Shalom Baptist Church. I don't like the thought about everyone ending up in the same place, there are just too many people I don't wanna hangout with in the after-life. Imagine a over crowded hell with socialhousing, not classy. I think God should send all the fashionbloggers, model agents, UGG wearing brats and my junior-high math teacher to hell. Heaven should be for my possy, korean boy bands and those whom grows organic marijuana.

The EU is compared to the Rape of Europe and the UN is the Antichrist. Neat, really neat.

The Antichrist also ref. to as the Beast will implant microchips into us. No more cards, just a chip in your head. Great! I also wanted to have someone scan my head and say: " Welcome Ms Tan please proceed to the VIP section".

This is my favourite part, it's about The Spiritual Delusion and Moral Decay. On this page they actually used a marker pen to line over "The New Age Movement" and "Rock Music". I am not kidding the booklet came like this.

HELL YEAH, I will make a visit so that I can have someone telling me that the Earth is 3000 years old, humans tamed and rode dinosaurs, and a man named Noel rounded up 2 of every species and placed them in a boat to save them from a flood.

Asian men are the new Black

Ladies prepare your tissues, major drooling allert coming up.
"Oh, that's right, bitches. Sure, we all know how adorable Asian women are, but Asian men have been largely relegated to supporting roles in the world of love. That's all changing. Never considered dating an Asian guy? Consider it now."

But don't Asian men have small penises?

No more so than white dudes, as far as I can tell. You’ll come across some baby carrots and you’ll come across some freakish, daikon radish-sized Asian schlong. There’s everything in between, too. Heh. I said “come across”.

Don’t believe me? Google “Rick Lee Asian Man” for some porn that I am not allowed to link to per blogspot´s “Appropriate Content” rules, Section 7a, line 3. Rick Lee is a Chinese guy who flies around the world having sex with women, filming it, and then posting it on his web site. Rick is well-endowed, and claims that it’s 100% natural, so… well, go on. Check it out.

Reasons to Date an Asian Dude

1. Very little body odor (this is genetic – Asians also have drier earwax. DO NOT allow your Asian dude to clean out your ears with those little metal spoons unless you also have dry earwax – most non-Asians have wet earwax, and there is nothing wrong with Q-Tips).
2. Thick, gorgeous hair and less of a penchant for male pattern baldness.
3. Even if Asians aren’t actually that much smarter than everyone else, they are at least shamed into working their asses off by demanding parents. Your Asian dude will probably be a hard worker, if nothing else.
4. Years of being ignored by Asian women means that Asian men are eager to prove that they have what it takes. This translates to some seriously good sex. Fireworks WERE invented in China, after all.
5. Significantly less quantities of body hair are left behind by Asian men who share your bed. This does not apply to my boyfriend.
6. My god, the eyes. THE EYES. Or the non-eyes in Bonnies case. Inside joke sorry folks.

HAVE FUN SUCKER!

p.s I still miss my portuguese hairball

31 is like 13

AJ s bd yesterday,prime lunch and a badass gift is all ur need to make ur partner go "u really love me alot eh". WTF, yeah I m just enduring this cause I don't have any better thing on my mind. We wrapped up the celebration by passing out at 6pm in the livingroom sofa while Spotify kept playing Radio Head songs until 9.30pm when I woke up cause my eyes were basically glued together. Radio Head as background music is quite creepy and not to recommend if ur half pissed and dreaming about zombies on bikes.

Eat your kimchi bitches now I gotta do some k-pop leg flick dance! YYYEEEEE

Favourite things

1. Cherryblossom and a bottle of Vodka
2. actually only vodka
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this list sucks.

I got 99 problems

We gonna come and get you!

AJ went for a day-trip to Bangkok yesterday, he brought me gifts but had to pay 50USD just to have it go on cargo because Jetstar is a shit airline. He had to go all the way to Thailand to renew his passport cause Portugal is a cheap ass country, while at the embassy in BKK he saw the consular interviewing a ladyboy. At night we were joking about if the shemale was going to Portugal to "work", AJs conslusion is that his country got a plan to import 50000 thai ladibois by 2030 because there are just not enough of them.

Brideshead Revisited

I always had a thing for charming but self-destructive and ultimately tragic figures, suggesting on the character Sebastian Flyte in Evelyn Waughs novel Brideshead Revisited. There is an underlying desire inside of me which is longing for a life as an preenish queerish boy, minus the teddybear. Relationships between a man and a woman is common, a relationship between two man is like two volumes of one book. Hurray for the blossoming of homosexual infatuation.

The pictures are from the 2008 movie and the 1981 mini series.

02.48am

mmmm its way over sleeping time and I am hungry. mmmmm thank god for mcDelivery. One thing good about this coconut island

sleeping issues

I cant sleep and when I do fall asleep I sleep like there is no tomorrow. Monday all over again and I am drawing a plan, a master plan on how to get out of this place. Endurance is everything.

p.s. I just read on cliffs facebook that he misses singapore , the dude is in New York. Either he is high or just plain stupid. Please bitch, i bet being on a fishing trunk in north eastern Brazil would be more fun than being here.

原諒我 - Forgive me

there are two kinds of eel

the ones u eat and the ones u fuck

http://www.vbs.tv/watch/the-vice-guide-to-sex--3/genki-and-the-art-of-eel-porn--3


the japanese are just uurrk, how they heck do they think they will conquer the world....by putting alive fish in their rectum?

allergies

went to the doc today, apparently I am super allergic to dust mites and recently my symptoms has been worse than ever. nausea, headaches, even yaking because of the fucked up balance in the ears. i came home with a bunch of medication. I need to rest. More info tomo.

North Korea Babes

I am swamped with work so you guys will have to enjoy PyongYang babes instead.

p.s. I got a thing for North Korea for the moment.

TRON Legacy and Daft Punk

Can you believe this? If you are into science fiction and thinks good graphic is like porn(read. Frottage) you gonna love this!
Science fiction AND Daft Punk....pure joy.

ass,titties ass,titties ass ass,titties

Leave me alone you imbeciles out there or you want to die?!



I just found a new favourite expression, "Want to die?" You can think of it as a more hardcore "Don't make me come over and slap you". Seriously, you can use it in any situations anytime. Try it for yourself, on the bus, in class, at the supermarket. Someone pushes u on the bus and apologizes, you take a quick look at that person and says with a cold voice "Want to die?". I am sure no one will touch you on the bus ever again. The white Valley kids of Singapore is getting better service than you in the restaurant/bar/country club, cause after all you are just another yellow chap that got an fancy accident, you go up to the Withnail Van Halen wannabes and ask him "Want to die?" and than signs your bill with his membership account number.

Michael, don't worry I am not depressed. I have grown out of my depression and is actively engaging in some serious anger kungfu fighting. I don't hate myself but I do get disgusted by humorless cosmo-drinking normys out there. I hate American girls but I do love to see some yankee tramp to take back the good name of American sluttiness. SOmething like that.

Wanna die?!

jigger

A gift from Johan, cause it makes me frisky.

"Destiny is the bridge we build to the one we love. "

shit shit shit

what a wonderful day. nothing compares to waking up on the wrong side of the bed and having bad news delivered to ur iphone pronto. oh well, what am I supp. to do about it. Cat in the hat. Cat in the hat!

*sigh*

I want to breastfeed you all.

I just got back

My mouth tastes like gasoline and I m out of rolling paper. Even there is no time difference between motherland China and here I feel jetlagged to the max. The kitchen is clean and my cravings for carb has been filled with five buckwheat pancakes soaked in maple syrup. Erica went to the gas station and came back with five pack sof cigarettes and Tropicana.

Btw. blogspot, facebook etc is all blocked in China.