why me with a 9 iron is a bad idea

spent last night in the emergency room holding hands and watching a chinese doctor stiching up my date. jules told me that me and koreans can only mean two things, they either break my heart or i break their head. i was so heartbroken, how fucked up can you be? i only met the guy on friday and two days later im telling him 3am on a monday morning that the surgeon wont give you anesthesia cause its only gonna be two stiches.

i should be so lucky lucky lucky. its friday!

i dont think i am ready to take this city by storm. never understimate what a city can do to you.

carin came for a quick visit, i smoked up nearly all the ciggys adriel gave me. he is def. another nathan. he dates but doesnt fuck. i mean how many more meal can my stomack take without getting to the point called "time for the kill". lets hope i dont repeat the same mistake again n bring along another hawon into my world. carin tells me to make a police report for his threats towards me, i just cant bring myself to admit to myself that the boy that once would cut off his own left hand for me is wanting to have my head on a plate. love and hate is surely different sides of the same coin.

last night me and vic went to have massage done by blind boys born in the late 80s. i never thought blind boys would ever hit on me. oh well. i will forever be by myself. andrew serenated a song for me on the balcony the other day and it goes:
" Day after day night after night
B7 E7
Loneliness creeps in her window
D A F#7
She locks the door, turns off the light
B7 E7 G7
Rehearsing a kiss on her pillow, she cries
A# C D
It's all in a day's work"

Yes, I only bullshit myself.

off to eat ribs with the 2nd generation rich kids now. Im no trustfund, only trustFUN. Laaaammmeee.

kisses from the whore of shanghai, not me, shanghai.

As you came from the holy land

"For you I was a flame
Love is a losing game
Five storey fire as you came
Love is a losing game
Why do I wish I never played
Oh, what a mess we made
And now the final frame
Love is a losing game
Played out by the band love is a losing hand . . "

fucking 3.30am again

illusion: having dinner at 6pm, taking a shower at 9pm, reading the bible and going to bed at 10pm, falling asleep at 10.10pm

reality: dinner at 8.30pm, 2 bottles of shiraz at 11pm, fried rice and beer on the street at 2am, writing on my stupid blog at 3.30am, deciding to give up on smoking at 4am, smoking the "last" cig at 4.30am, shower 4.40am, falling asleep at dawn.

reality always beats illusion

the reason why getting laid is rocket science for me

Most girls I meet are quite savage
Always tryna' grab up on my package
The say I look yummy and they want a taste
But I'm a human not a sandwhich.

Jinan - where Im related to a whole village

I am visiting my grandma (dads side) in Jinan until Thursday. Last night me and Andrew got semi-drunk at Dr Wine, we took a strole in the concession n found a wallet that belonged to someone that he apparently knows... I went out with a boy the other day that told me that one of his buddy in the states knows someone that knows me... Either this world is very very small or he is stalking me. Problably both.

Landed this morning in Jinan with a hungover n blood coming out of my vagina, was passing out every other minute and went out to have a ciggy break. A kid in crotchless pants pees on me. This is the country I wanna move to. Yepp. I think I should just go back to Sweden where pants covers the crotch and the world is even smaller. naaaaahhh

pre-peeing face of a chinese infant

post-peeing face of a chinese infant

au revoir shanghai for four days

please dont hate me for not writing. let me put it this way, in 2 month I made the first shopping spree today. that must tell you something about how busy I've been. mother dropped by this wknd cause she is "worried" about me. worried about if my bed is comfortable enough, if the food i indulge in is organic enough and the men i see single enough. mother tells me that she know married men, and a few of them are happy but she doesnt know one who wouldn't fall down the first open hole running after the first pretty girl that gave him a wink. winking is so 1997. i dont wink and i dont fall for married men. i tell her i met a boy that gives me celery instead of flowers and that he is not married. i tell her that my ex-bf wrote me a email the other day n called me a "psychopath fuck". I find it funny considering he is the one moving to Sweden and I try as hard as I can to run away from him. I am no psycho but I do like to fuck. Im not having my fair share of ass thou.