Greed is good, curiousity is even better

I like to buy things, own things but most of all I love to find out things. This is ofcourse one of the qualities of being the only child and coming from divorced parents. For me control is the air I breath and not knowing what is going to happen for the next 48h makes me sweat ratpiss. For example, when the the creditcard bills comes I rip the envelope apart and even if I don´t want to know how many digits the total at the end of the paper adds up to, I already know. For some other "people" it is the opposite I guess, let´s say "people" I know and that I live with is the kind that let the bill sleep in the sealed bed and hope for that it will magically vanish into.......more debts?

My curiousity is not always welcomed by my "people", but why keep guessing when you can find out by yourself. So i took my brokeass and sat down in the office to once for all clear up all the bills, after my Sweden trip I felt like I deserved it. "Smakar det så kostar det", Swedish proverb meaning If it tastes good than it must cost alot. I felt I was doing pretty good when I opened the Singapore creditcard bills.

As follows is a sms I sent out to my "people"

"....I opened our bills, it´s nice. So when do I get the special treatment at the Ristorante de Valentino(suggesting the dinner for 300SGD). Or maybe you would like to pick-me-up first at Mimolette(drinks for 200SGD). Do rmba that I only drink Champagne"

pais tropical

Portuguese men are the strongest and most sexually pleasing. They work hard all day so when they get home to their wives and girls, they expect you to get on your knees and fucking suck off their massive cock. Because Portuguese men have such massive cocks that it’s physically exhausting for them to jack off themselves. So you get on your knees and try to fit it in your mouth. Then let him fuck you in the ass while in the shower, because he’s leaving soon to go work again!

soooo sleepy

I woke up at 11 but is still like a zombie, need to jump into the shower before meeting up with Cliff. He has some art he wanted to show me at the Asian Civilisation Museum. laters suckers.

perfect

i had my last review at my eye doctor today, the first thing he asked was "how was the weed in amsterdam?". i corrected him ofcourse by saying "u mean stockholm...n it has not made me blind...yet ..right". last time I was there he was warning me about smoking weed after having lasik surgery....yadda yadda yadda. I see better when I m high, I look happier too. btw. I got perfect sight. I really thought it would make my life happier, but no, not this time either.

I am taking one day at a time and today was a good day, I also received the greatest letter ever from Carin back home. Actually for a couple of days ago I got another one from Carro. What would I do without my friends. We had plenty of good times and some bad ones together but nothing can change it and I don´t want to change anything. I just wished I could see them more often. I wish I had all my good people, all my beautiful good people in my pockets.

i m just yoking

Söderling just beat Davydenko and is about to loose again, yepp he is playing against Roger in the next round. Seriosuly, how fucking unlucky can it be?! You beat Nadal but can´t even scratch Federer. The Swede is the greatest ever when he tries to break a very svenne "yoke" during the final of French Open by mentioning something about the - weather. What else!

I m going to wake up early in the morning and play tennis, NOT. Still fricking jetlagged and my wrist is fucked up.

my skin is breaking out majorly, good that I m off the working scheme for a while (shooting, casting, whoring)

"puss puss, din jävla fitta" - Lady gaga and Alexander Skarsgård in Paparazzi music video

saturday

Was at the museum today with two kids, andrea is 12 and michel is 8. michel was wearing a brah and both me and aj thought it was cool, he actually asked her "what for?". She scratched her fat tummy and said because she wants to. because I want to, nothing else matters when a childs honesty kicks ass.

it was all like in a Godard movie

my people looks good in anything

its harsh how life can switch from heaven to hell. Maybe hell is not the fair description for what I m dealing with here, its more like I m in an air conditioned glasshouse where I can see perfectly whats going on outside, in Hell.

Being back home in stockholm for 2.5 weeks was just painful and jolly all the time, at the same time, I know I´ll have to leave all my annoyingly beautiful friends behind so I keep reminding myself everyday that Joy is momentarily, but Pain is forever. Call it self-desctructive, to me it´s being true to one self. I admire people that can appreciate blue skys and sunny weekends, to me it is just moments that shadows the real world. I rather see lonely men sitting in cafes. Thats just me. I am a whore and this is some dark times.

x