cocillana

my doctor gave me cociallana for my virusinfection(did a H1N1 test today, get the result in 2 days), and it's wonderful=etylmorfinhydroklorid. the guy that did the swineflu test on me was a 40 something persian bioanalyst, he shoved down a long skinny metal thing in my nose and I told him I rather take a needle in my eyeball, it was the most uncomfortable thing plus he parked his balls between my knees while plumbing my nose for virus. Alot of people think that I m going to die if I got swineflu, but my doctor said that if I got it I m on my way to be better anyways but "it would be fun" to know if it is swineflu. I wonder if I get a medal for surviving it. Earlier today between my gynecologist appointment and the swineflu checkup I went to Twilfit(underwear store) to buy a new brah, apparently I have been using the wrong size my whole life, apparently I am a 70D, CAN U FUCKING BELIEVE IT?! Me, D and 70? The brah-lady told me that it's because my back is really skinny, I felt like buying all the D-cupe in the store. But seriously I don't have jugs but maybe swineflu makes ur boobs grow and ur bones shrink, hey it's like the best diet ever.

Bonnie is buying up the whole city while I am taking the rest of the day off(1st one since I got here) and staying in, I should be taking a nap but instead I am doing budgets, paying bills, taking more morfin, organizing my clothes, doing a to-do list, sticking post-it notes on random stuff and ofcourse more morfin. I never felt better.

I also took some random pictures:

1. name your own price coupons for kanelbullar
2. my dinningtable
3. old pic i found while moving: from left..my possy in HK, Johan as a kid(how can you not love plaid and young blond boys), mum being 30 something...she looks the same today...scarry.

swedish summer

fever


we had to wake up at 8am cause after 9am we are not aloud to flush the toilet because the pipes are being cleaned or something, at 8.45am I was sitting on the loo doing my business and squeezing as much and as hard as I can without breaking my ass. Went to sign some paper at the bank for my flat and now I officially own it. Yeah. It´s 20 celcius outside and I look like I m ready to chop some wood, very brokeback minus the anal penetration. Seriously this is mid-aug and it can only mean one thing, summer sale! Fuck no, no sale and it´s bloody cold. Bonnie got alot of cheap monday and I bought a brah that doesnt cover the nipples, the brah is so great I think I will have to propose to AJ if he ever see me in it. I also found a pair of cowboy boots, I love them and I think they will love me back. Bonnie is taking a shit while watching porn and we are seriously considering to get a tv because we got like nothing to do and we really wanna sit in my new sofa that btw. Saras bf thinks its the ugliest thing ever.

its better to drink boiled coca cola together than eat panadol alone

Sorry for not posting in a million years, I have been busy studying for my bar exam and feeding white orphans in 3rd world countries. And Michael Jackson is not dead.

I am in Stockholm for 2 weeks and Bonnie is here as well, all the way from HK. I gave her swine flu and she cleans my wooden floor just like a filippino maide, with style. We like to grocery shop, 48h and we been to 5 different supermarket. It's the best thing ever to have her here teaching me how to cure a flu; coke, ginger and lemon. Boil it all together! It's funny how bad my english becomes when my nose is stuffed, my sentences are short. haha ha

we like this

madness

today me n aj(fuck u i know u dont like me writing about u so FUCK U) went for villa hunting, we need a place to stay for the next three days and i hooked us up with some villa in a village next by. we walked like for an hour through the jungle, got chased by rapies dogs and fucking avianflu chickens. when we finally arrived it was like a fucking madness in the village, aj just looked at me and screamed " I m not staying here, no fucking way". I looked at the chickens, some rapies dogs and said to AJ "please hold me, I am scared". So there we where in the mid of fucking nowhere with no one speaking english and a whole frickin indonesia village laughing at us because they problably thought we were making out or something....yeah the chicken shit made us horny. I told one of the young boy that was dressed in a traditional balinese suit(colorful manskirt) to get me Wayan the manager of the villas, and off he went on is bike. When Wayan showed up I was like, PLEASE TAKE ME AWAY FROM HERE. I told him what a hell it was to get here and he showed us this ugly villa which had a roof that aj hit his head 15 times on. what a motherfucking disaster i thought to myself. aj just stod there in his white wifebeater and burberry swimshorts - sooooo not jungle jorge.

BUT we found a beautiful villa nearby that was designed by Wayan as well that overlooks the ricefield and got a pool, so tomo we are going deep into the jungle. no internet for three days n than Uluwatu!

here in ubud bali

our neighbours.

i m sitting here on our terrace looking at the flower decoration our maid Nyoman did this morning and I am thinking we should live like this everyday, minus the spider I just crushed with my left ass chick. Ubud is pretty relaxing, I crashed the bed at 10pm and slept a solid 12hour before AJ screamed NYOMAN HAS MADE BREAKFAST!!!! WAKEUP U MONSTER!!! He also told me that our astrologist neighbour is holding some hippie workshop and the Aussies that lives close to us is attending her "masturbation with the starts" conference. That's what he thinks it is when 50 hippie gets together, they masturbate to the sound of frogs and come together. Literally.

we got free Internet which is a good surprise considering we are in the frickin rice field jungle. We climbed 90 indiana-jones-steps last night after AJ paid 7usd for a toblerone bar(read Rip-off). He had a T-bone for dinner and I was eyeing his food all the time while I was eating my very balinese fish with rice. Seriously, who the fuck comes to Indonesia and have a T-bone, probably Henrik back home in Sweden, but he also thinks meat should be on the bottom of the food pyramid.

sayonara bitches!

3.31am

I cant sleep and I got a flight to catch in three hours. The trip to Sweden was awsome, besides when I reached for my Iphone that I accidently dropped in the toilet - after I did my business. Lin is coming over to Bali for one week and she is staying with us, we are planning to eye molest surfers and eat well. Me and AJ are going to spend our first week in Ubud, some hippie wannabe place, just to be like Goa in the 60s, well, all the places just to be like Goa in the 60s. U get what I mean.

I still can´t get over the fact that being unemployed in Sweden still gives u enough cash to buy YSL shoes, on sale. I think I will move back soon, I need new shoes.


xoxo

in sweden

yo hoes n pimps out there. Im in Stockholm n busy with being swedish so I will be a bit not here but I promise to update u guys on more in just a couple of days.

hejdå