tisdag 21 februari 2023
8am
I can't handle peple anymore he told me.
Ive reached a new level of my depression, I am letting my mind eating me up from inside and out. Just lean to it I guess. My very homosexual buddy is coming over with a bottle, maybe he can smash it on my head. I tell him I can't cause tomorrow morning I am meeting my mums very young ginger electrian. 8am sharp. Workingclass men never been hotter. Everyday he drills holes and run cables along mothers kitchen walls, I wonder if he always gets harrassed by married woman who wish their husband was half the man he is. My homo buddy assures me that I always look good although I look like a washed out whore that eats avocado.
lördag 18 februari 2023
ha!
I read all my old posts last night, not feeling sorry for myself one bit. Slighty embarrassed at times. What a life, what a party, what a joyous slut! Let's be honest, my so called "modelling days" in Singapore was as interesting as being stuck in traffic. The rant about being a workoloholic was just me being a narcissist having a 10am psychosis. No men were harmed in the making of this movie. And the proceedings went to my useless heart. Loving him is always easy, loving myself is something else. Wednesday therapy booked.
onsdag 6 mars 2019
All the people living on Södermalm
Jag har tre grannar som är kommunister. En tycker att man ska "systematisk" göra razzia i alla lägenheter och GRÄVA fram alla som hyr ut. Jag hörde henne säga "excel" och kunde inte låta bli att le lite i smyg, och det är ju det som är problemet. Att man ler i smyg. De andra två startade en diskussion om dygden att aldrig förvalta det man har, jo för det är på andras bekostnad. Nej, inte kan de vara kommunister. För kommunister är generösa eller hur? Ordet "Stasi" kom ur mig. Ungefär en gång per månad, oftast på en måndag, blir jag en super hero som kämpar för kapitalism och frihet.
måndag 4 april 2016
he can read me. thats all i thought to myself before hanging up the phone.
After all the pain, resentment, anger and sadness I still remember the magical moments and the foreign smells. How mesmerising it has been. At the same time my head feels like its exploding when he speaks to me.
Gurra snapchatted me his cock. That was fun. It took me 5 minutes talking to him after the awful phone call to feel good about myself again. Gurra is da best. Hashtag hashtag
After all the pain, resentment, anger and sadness I still remember the magical moments and the foreign smells. How mesmerising it has been. At the same time my head feels like its exploding when he speaks to me.
Gurra snapchatted me his cock. That was fun. It took me 5 minutes talking to him after the awful phone call to feel good about myself again. Gurra is da best. Hashtag hashtag
tisdag 9 februari 2016
9 feb 18:43
Been listening to electronic deep house step lounge kind of music from the philippine islands. I am certainly very impressed by this one producer CRWN. Banks during the early 2000´s this is how it might have sound like. Its amazing how much music I have been listening to these past two weeks.
"J. Deckers was a nun. She wrote and sang Dominique and became super famous. She quit being a nun to become a singer but she failed and committed suicide with her gf Anna after going broke in 1985". He wrote down on a piece of paper and folded it into a tiny square.
I am wearing a white dress under a long thick wool blazer, the dress is short but not slut short. I am dancing at a club in HK with Itai, Vivienne is there as well. I am in a red cab on my way to Kowloon, its 7.40am and the sun is coming out. I am in the a red cab, I pull up my legs and rest my heels on the seat. My seatbelt is on. The hat is over my face, and you know that face. The cakey, come down, cigarette kebab face. Yeah thats my face.
George called me at once he heard about what happened last night. Last night was a 2,5h of talk whereof 1h was F. sobbing and saying quite disturbing things. It was awful. How tiresome to see that people are willing to give up everything they stood for, to that they will prove themselves right. I am a monster and I seek discipline in liberty.
"J. Deckers was a nun. She wrote and sang Dominique and became super famous. She quit being a nun to become a singer but she failed and committed suicide with her gf Anna after going broke in 1985". He wrote down on a piece of paper and folded it into a tiny square.
I am wearing a white dress under a long thick wool blazer, the dress is short but not slut short. I am dancing at a club in HK with Itai, Vivienne is there as well. I am in a red cab on my way to Kowloon, its 7.40am and the sun is coming out. I am in the a red cab, I pull up my legs and rest my heels on the seat. My seatbelt is on. The hat is over my face, and you know that face. The cakey, come down, cigarette kebab face. Yeah thats my face.
George called me at once he heard about what happened last night. Last night was a 2,5h of talk whereof 1h was F. sobbing and saying quite disturbing things. It was awful. How tiresome to see that people are willing to give up everything they stood for, to that they will prove themselves right. I am a monster and I seek discipline in liberty.
lördag 6 februari 2016
0% Ego
Philip Glass is playing.
No, I switch to CAN and Halleluwah. Swinging!
I was just on the phone with Gurra talking about what an complete disaster meeting I had this morning. One of those "I must be high on charlie cause that was way too bad to feel this good" meeting. I mean, not only was I all over the room drawing on the whiteboard, having foot dance with the drawers, I also somehow successfully incorporated the sentence "...and I say that with 0% ego" into our conversation. YES, I am a MONSTER. Judge me.
Mother is coming in March, the 6th. I fear her visit with amusement, how little she knows her only child. Does she know about the nights spent in hotels when I am visiting my dad. She doesn't have to know. We all fear to become like our parents, surprisingly our parents fear the same. I know it hurt mother just as much as it makes her content, its like all her poor judgement and failure will be genetically inherited by me. And if that happens I will let it inhabit my mind peacefully.
No, I switch to CAN and Halleluwah. Swinging!
I was just on the phone with Gurra talking about what an complete disaster meeting I had this morning. One of those "I must be high on charlie cause that was way too bad to feel this good" meeting. I mean, not only was I all over the room drawing on the whiteboard, having foot dance with the drawers, I also somehow successfully incorporated the sentence "...and I say that with 0% ego" into our conversation. YES, I am a MONSTER. Judge me.
Mother is coming in March, the 6th. I fear her visit with amusement, how little she knows her only child. Does she know about the nights spent in hotels when I am visiting my dad. She doesn't have to know. We all fear to become like our parents, surprisingly our parents fear the same. I know it hurt mother just as much as it makes her content, its like all her poor judgement and failure will be genetically inherited by me. And if that happens I will let it inhabit my mind peacefully.
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