if it has tires or testicles, I´m going to have trouble with it

was on the phone with my oppa last night while grandma was using her new digital scale to weight every single thing she could find in her house. oppa is removing his stitches off his head today and maybe once his wound is healed our bond will also take a break. Monsieur and I is talking way too much these days, I tell him to go n spend his last week as a bachelor out in the street and not being on the phone with me. he tells me that he should have met me for 20 yrs ago, i remind him that 20 yrs ago I was 8. i told E-type earlier today that I think married men are cute, i get the best of them and their wives get the rest.

exactly one year ago i was someone that believed in the silly thing called love but a meaningless creature took all my belief away. tomo that same guy is keeping his promise and flying off to sweden. promises are like babies, easy to make, hard to deliver. in this case he is delivering it way too late. i got no more feelings for him nor others. i feel nothing.

with love from yasikinz.tumblr.com

Le Big Mac

Dear readers, I took the freedom to exercise some vulgarity last night. Thaifood with the Lo(c)ksmith and we concluded that we always over orders and end up looking like two pigs. Last eve was especially notorious cause its apparently some kind of soft-tofu chinese valentines day, there were frickin rose petals on our table and me in my uniqlo sweatpants with lard stains. We keep saying "im so fucking hungry" every second minute the food doesnt arrive. actually im lying, we kept saying that even when the dishes started to show up at our table with the exception that we added "this is so fucking good" and "shit, this is fucking great". After dinner I went back to get changed and went to say farewel/c u again/keep smelling my panties to some ppl. before heading to the Flat to shake my lambchops to Hed Kandi.

This morning I woke up with the worst headache ever since grad 6 when I thought skiing drunk is a great idea and hit my head on the slope. Brother Lo(c)ksmith never shows up to the Kandi party so I figured he was making love to his Genie in the bottle. She is his latest conquest and I think I like her and her pastell colored clothes. I wonder if he would be happy or mad if I tell him that I would totally do her if she was a hobby-lesbian like me.

It´s 4.38am and I just got off the phone with the monsieur, Im starting to realize that being dramtic doesnt decline with age. I think the only reason why I´m still enjoying him is because I get to live out my own PG version of Delta of Venus. I wonder what mother will say, problably something in the line with A bachelor needs inspiration to sleep with you darl but a married guy only needs an excuse, ride this one out, this one is made of glass n not the unshattered kind.

last night in shanghai

its going to be a very very calm night. i promise. :)

so im sitting on the floor in his colorless livingroom resting my head on the grey sofa while the gentleman is pouring me another vodka in his italian kitchen. it is exactly 321m between my house to his but he still insist on using his electric scooter to take me home, apparently when it breaks we get closer. so fucking hippie i think. so fucking convenient he thinks.

i sit there and keep smiling not because im naughty because he makes me nervous. there are two passports on the table, one is for me we casually jokes. if we were be running away i need to go home and put my panties on. the polish vodka taste like vanilla and my russian red lipstick is all over my face. he offers to dry my hair in his bedroom and i teach him how to make a french braid, he tells me i look like a virgin in my braid. i show him all the tricks i learned at my sunday servies and he tells me that im dangerous, i tell him im like a lamb. when he puts his hands around my neck i think all the lights went off in this city and my throat is so dry i chuck another glass of vodka. tu es beau moi non plus.

last night i dreamt about cheese, the hard one. jules tells me she might be over-fucked. i dont think that will ever happen to me.

brain damage

1. do not have dinner with married men alone
2. do not have drinks with married men alone
3. do not go to a married mans house alone
4. do not tell a married man that you are not wearing any underwear
5. do not do not during any circumstance kiss a married man

stop slutting banana. stop slutting