Time to move on, the glass was not half full but half empty. E. and I spent 3 solid hours on Skype today, and the conclusion is that I may look strong but I m fragile, I may look young but I m old and there are not many people in my acquitance that can understand me...besides E possibly..problably...possibly. She got her own problems obviously, who fucking doesnt. Her honesty made me see who I am and what I deserve. Epiphany: I am too good to be sweating over this.
For the past 4 month I have been living like a dried up sponge, a living zombie, a walking dead. The sudden happiness I would have was a result of hoping and longing for something that we still dont have any answers for and we would never have. Well the only difference now is that I made up my mind and this needs to stop. Ofcourse it will be minutes or hours when I fall back into the abyss of melanchloly (blame it on my corny split personality), but thats how far this will go. And it ends here. From now on I live for myself, well atleast until I fall into another looser-trap. ^^ Fighting!!!
Goosh, I think this was the most heartening post I ever wrote. Gonight bitches, keep blowing.
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