good karma doesnt come on a bike

my bike got stolen yesterday even thou i parked it inside my building. what kind of person steal from its neighbour? kipling said once "Borrow trouble for yourself, if that's your nature, but don't lend it to your neighbours." My neighbours seems to smoke crack for breakfast and shit in my bed. I was so sad (cause its S. bike that I borrowed while she is sipping chianti in florence) so I wrote a note that i put up down at the entrance saying basically; to the motherfucker that took my bike, i want it back or ill hunt u down n circumcise u with mothers rusty breadknife. if u wanna steal from me atleast steal my stuff not my friends...im sad...angry....bla..bla... i live on the 3rd floor apartment xxxxx COME N FIND ME CAUSE ILL FIND YOU".

good thing is that J. was here and we smoked some just so we could have the energy to run around the block for munchies n my bike. i passed out in my livingroom couch and woke up at 2am having a fricking i-got-my-bike-stolen panicattack. thought about calling my shrink but than Im pretty sure that he will enjoy the dramas in my life n make me his casestudy nr 576. My italian boytoy thinks its funny that the bike gets stolen the same day I bought a helmet, HAHAHA not funny. He tells me its the murphys law. I think its bad karma. I was problably a bike-slut in my former life, you know one of those overly intense bike riders that wears uni-sex spandex in obnoxious colors (no legitimate reasons for wearing unitards or how it improves the biking). Anyone that spends up to 5 grand on a single bike and occasionally talks incoherent about their heartrate should be punished. So as a former vivid bike-whore I got my punishment yesterday.

this morning Im standing infront of my livingroom window and looks down at the street n what do I see? MY FUCKING BIKE! It wasnt there last night so they motherfucker returns it after all. What a fucker. Ill still hunt u down! Italian boytoy is now saying that i got good karma cause he mentally spanked me the other day (OKAY?...whatever that means). So my conclusion is that in my former life I was a bike-slut during daytime and just a slut during nighttime. Genuinly nightime sluts usually got good karma.

over n out bitches. over n out.

namaste my ass

fuck yoga, i find stress less boring.

wonda why they call you b_____ with a twist

AND

EQUALS



Thanks M. You make me feel like a wolf (hot girl) in sheep’s (boys’) clothing. Now I will think twice before I leave my vibrator out on the drawer.

why football is worth watching

Pep is thinking - HOT

went to see the game today Madrid versus Barcelona. It was hard to keep my two slender together when 22 tanned fit latinos is chasing a ball for 90 solid minutes. Even Moreno got that i am old but i make love like a 17 yr old look. Have u seen Guardiola (pic)? I wanna have his babies. The fact that my ex-kimchi bf is problably dreaming about getting his arse fucked by this man doesnt makes it better. Oh well, this man sure can make any straight guy go both ways. I sure will let him (not kimchi, guardiola) put it anywhere. Sorry for the lack of elegance but i gaines 6 pounds and now that im officially fat in fashionworld I should try harder.

I need to go somewhere but i dont know where exactly

the planets are not on my side

did you read the last two posts? alright, alright. the kimchi is starting to send me weird sms in korean, i bet its his new gf trying to figure out who this hottey on her new beaus phones is. the portuguese egg tart defriended me on facebook cause his new wifey from minnesota doesnt think its okay for him to include me on his who-the-fuck-gives-a-shit friendlist. u know what, by my guest...looking like jannice dickinson does give the right to behave like a immature redneck.

do i sound bitter? Noooooooooooooooooo I am not bitter, I am fucking raging. being an adult when everyone else is behaving like epileptic babies spells harder than HARD.

and i thought we could be friends